dirtbag03's Xanga

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Tue, 28 Nov 2006 03:25:22 GMT

Ok, yes its been half a year since the last time that i was actually on this site, there are way better things to do than sit at computers and write things like this, but since i'm here, i mine as well, what the hell what can it hurt

this year has been great and to my surprise, i actually found the one person that i want to spend the rest of my life with, and its an amazing feeling when you know that they are the right person for you, i think Kelsey knows what i'm talking about, right? but overall school is good and s is the rest of my life for right now, i hope itsthe same for every one as well, ttyl, comment.......the ones that still use this thing.

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Tue, 16 May 2006 20:36:39 GMT

her dad was a drunk
Her mom was an addict
Her parents kept her
Locked in an attic

Her only friend
was a little toy bear
It was old and worn out
And had patches of hair

She always talked to it
When no one's around
She lays there and hugs it
Not a peep of sound

Until her parents
unlock the door
Some more and more pain
She'll have to endore

A bruise on her leg
A scar on her face
Why would she be
In such a horrible place?

But she grabs her bear
And softly crys
She loves her parents
But they want her to die

She sits in the corner
Quiet but thinking,
"Please God, why is
My life always sinking? "

Such a bad life
For a sad little kid
She'd get beaten and beaten
For anything she did

Then one night
Her mom came home high
And the poor child was beaten
As hours went by

Then her mom suddenly
Grabbed for a blade
It was sharp and pointy
One that she made

She thrusted the blade
Right in her chest,
"You deserve to die
You worthless pest!"

The mom walked out
Leaving the girl slowly dieing
She grabbed her bear
And again started crying

Police showed up
At the small little house
Then quickly barged in
Everything quiet as a mouse

One officer slowly
Opened a door
To find the little girl
Lieing on the floor

It must have been bad
To go through so much harm
But at least she died
With her best friend in her arms

Sunday, April 02, 2006

Sun, 02 Apr 2006 13:12:43 GMT

Ok, so I guess its time to put something new on here.
    This year has been a fun a year, but at the same time a miserable one too. I can't wait till skools out!
    The other day I got in trouble and my dad and I got into an argument and at the end he told me that if I keep it up, what ever I’m doing, he will send me to go live with my real dad in Arizona and that if it was his choice, that I would have never lived here for as long as i have if the choice was up to him. Its just one more year till I can leave this house and not have to worry about him, I don't know exactly where I’m going to stay, but at least I wont have to worry about him anymore.
   Last night I had some friends over, it was the first time in a long time that we actually did something together, unlike other times we will start to do something then people leave because there pissed or some shit like that happens and they decide to leave. But there was one in particular that I have always liked to hang out with, and do things with, and last night was the first time that we had done anything out of skool of a long time, all the other times she was either pissed off or she just didn't want to talk to me, but thats all in the past. I think and hope that we do these type of things more often, and not just maybe once every month. Its was fun even though the girls beat the guys in basketball, and the one where I lost 8-3 to a girl (the first 5 I let her have cause I was just messing around and didn't want to make her mad or anything like that, but she doesn't know that) well its not the first time that I let her win, jk, she has beat me before when i wasn't playing around and later when I got home I cried cause I lost to her, a girl! If thats what keeps her coming back then I have no problem losing in one on one games with her.
   Soccer this year wasn't the best year either, we went 1-7 this year, at least its better than last years. I had some fun times while we were out of town, but some of my best times were when I was playing and took out people. talk to yalls people laterz!

Sunday, February 26, 2006

Sun, 26 Feb 2006 18:58:58 GMT

Ok, so i think its time to finally update, and this is it.

Well in soccer we aren't doing to good and i had to sit out at last nights game because my coach got pissed at me for walking out of my 2nd period class, and i got a pink slip, and 2 days of ISS, on the 3rd and 24th of march. That will be fun! Nothing to much is is going on in school, i'm passing and thats about is and i found out that a few people want to fight me but wont fight me alone, fuckin' pussies! I think i'm grounded now because of me walking out of class, so i don't think i will be able to do anything for about a month or more, so no more fun for awhile.

I just found out the other day that nothing will evr go my way, nothing is ever going to end up right for me, everything good eventually goes bad and never gets better. So i was thinking about joining the army, and wondering what branch i should get in, the army, navy, airforce or the marines, that could be me after i get out of school, since the marines was my 1st choice.

well thats about it for know, so comment me back and i'll comment back laterz!

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Wed, 01 Feb 2006 00:04:20 GMT

Every time I see her, I see every thing that I could have had, every thing that I once had. It kills me just to look at her and even more when she smiles, it reminds me of the past, when I would make her laugh and just look at the one thing that mattered to me in my life. When I was with her, I would forget every thing that happened before and only think about her, she made every thing bad turn out good, she was the only person that I can honestly say that I love, and she is the only one that I can say that to. But people say things get worse before they get better, thats bullshit, nothing ever gets better than before, it just doesn't matter as much any more. Some days I wonder what would have happened if I did cut the right spot on my wrist, would people be happier if they didn't know me or is it better that they did meet me? Every time some thing goes wrong, I hope that I will see her the next day at school or any other place. I would do anything for her, and even more to be able to hold her like I used to, to be able to hold her hand, walk her to class, go to parks and walk around at night, every time I see her these things come into my mind, and I start to regret not doing some thing and regret doing somethings that I shouldn't have done, said or written to her. I can tell her that I'm sorry my whole life but that wont change anything, people say that we will end up together again, but I don't think we will, at first I thought that ... Now I know that I ruined the best thing in my life, its hard to let it go, but it was also just as hard when we were still together and trying not to do anything wrong to mess anything up, I did every thing wrong, and I thought that I might have gotten one more chance, but it never happened. When you love some one tell them, don't wait for some thing bad to happen before you think of actually telling them how you really feel, I fucked it up once and hopefully it wont happen again.

In soccer we haven't been doing our best, almost every body was failling something, and people are starting to blame things on other people that had nothing to do with it. My coach sucks, he doesn't know what hes talking about some times, and brings the team down when he should be trying to bring us up, what a bitch. Well we get a week off till are actual season starts, and hopefully we will do better than we did at the tourns, maybe some day coach will learn to listen to what we have to say, because some of the stuff we say can be useful.This is it for now, TaLk LaTeRz...

Monday, January 30, 2006

Mon, 30 Jan 2006 17:31:49 GMT

Game Tonight At Lowrey @ 6pm, Every One Should Go To It !!!!!!

Sunday, January 22, 2006

Sun, 22 Jan 2006 04:33:26 GMT

Ok, today we got back from Midland, and we got our asses kicked. we ended the tourn. 1-3, but at least we got one win, right? Its been awhile since the last time cause i had to figure a few things out, and now its all better, i think. We have a game on Monday at Lowrey against Pampa @ 6pm, every one should come and watch us play! Well, i'm sore and tired, so i guess i'll TaLk LaTeRz!

I Fuckin' Did It, I........, Hell Yeah!!!!

Thursday, January 12, 2006

Thu, 12 Jan 2006 02:08:48 GMT

FUCK THIS WORLD, FUCK MY LIFE, FUCK EVERYTHING, AND MOST OF ALL FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I HOPE I FUCKIN' DIE IN THE NEXT DAY OR TWO!!!!! FUCK EVERYTHING!!! FUCK YOU FOR READING THIS!!!!!!!!

as you can probably tell, i was pissed when i wrote this, and i'm sorry if i just affended anyone, if i did, don't be such a pussy and take every thing to the heart! Last one for awhile, so right me some interesting comments, and if you don't write me one, fuck you to then! Laterz!!!

Monday, January 09, 2006

Mon, 09 Jan 2006 18:44:54 GMT

Thursday, January 05, 2006

Thu, 05 Jan 2006 02:05:54 GMT

Today was alright, it wasn't the best day, but I guess that it will have to do. We play in 2 days, and I feel like SHIT! My whole fuckin' body is sore, and I kinda feel like quiting soccer for many reasons! I'm just tired of dealing with all this shit, and i've been thinking about moving with my real dad in Arizona and finishing school down there and never returning to Lubbock other than to visit my mom. It took me a whole week to figure out some things, while other things i haven't figured out yet. Other than that life is great, but we start school in less than a week, and i'm not ready to back yet, just like every one else.
In the last week i realized that my life sucks, i honestly don't know how i am able to deal with all the shit going on in my life right now! A few days ago, i was asked how i wanted to die and i answered truthfully, what about you? How do you want to die in the future? To die by old age is a luxury that many people don't get to experience during their time here, do you think you will get that luxury?